Marcel Lucont, Gallic Symbol

Camembert. Champagne. The Eiffel Tower. Johnny Halliday.

The French have given many great things to the world and now there’s something, or should I say someone, else to add to the list. Mesdames et Messieurs, it is my pleasure to introduce Marcel Lucont. 

Of course, Marcel is well aware of just how fabulous he is. After all, he is français. 

Lucont’s stand up act consists of squeezing every single possible gag out of those Franco-stereotypes—and the result is hilarious. Marcel kicks things off with customary Gallic modesty by launching into a tune entitled “I’m Better Than You”. He teases audience members foolish enough to sit in the front row with sly sarcasm, especially the lady who dared to sport a beret despite being Australian. His routine is full of mordant observations, dirty jokes, and daft songs interspersed with the odd sex poem, all delivered while swilling copious amounts of red wine.

As Marcel hails from the land which invented l’amour, it’s no surprise that much of the show is dedicated to the carnal embrace. We’re treated to tunes like “Continental Breast Fest,” an excuse for flinging a few croissants into the crowd while the great Frog recounts his amorous exploits. Marcel also offers advice on what to do when things turn sour in the form of a poem called “50 Actual Ways to Leave Your Lover”— his suggested modes of transport include tricycle, segway, tractor, and tank. 

Just in case you thought Lucont was a one-trick pony, he spends a good five minutes delivering naff one liners as his English persona, Johnny Trousers. There’s something surreal about watching a Frenchman with a thick accent imitating a rubbish British comedian but somehow it works. The downright cheekiest line of the evening though comes from Lucont’s autobiography, entitled Moi: “She had seen more cocks than an Alsace poultry farmer.” 

I’m sure he meant to say cockerels. 

Marcel ends the performance looking pleased with himself—and why shouldn’t he? This is a man who knows how to work a crowd as deftly as Thierry Henry handles a football. Will seeing the Gallic Symbol in action cure your Francophobia? Not a chance. Will it make you laugh so hard you almost cry? Mais oui.